um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
