Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
