Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
