hell yes lets make some ravioli
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
