Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
don't judge my taste in strippers
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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