where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
