is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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