batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
The ass gains better be worth it
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