Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
