i was born a porn star she said
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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