I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Randomize
