I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
