i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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