I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
