You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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