saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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