sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
