He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
