dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
