direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
