I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
