You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
