2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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