Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Actions speak louder than pants.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
