If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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