when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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