dude i'm inner monologue high
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
