Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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