I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Hippo gnu deer
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
