jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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