I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
