I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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