I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
