Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Vodka?
Forever.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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