Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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