I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
