just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Let's paint friendship bongs
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
YAS. BRING CRAB.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
