so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
