For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
