Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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