I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
