Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
