I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Boobs speak an international language.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
