party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Success! We fucked roommates!
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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