By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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