i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
When are your genitals available?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
