I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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