fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
