i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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