Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
