All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
