Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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