The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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