if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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